House Of 1000...Ahh Hell Stupid Shit!

     Okay I really was in the mood to watch The Devil's Rejects again cuz I haven't seen it but once.  Now my little brain tells me I can't just watch a part 2 of any movie, I gotta watch the whole story.  So naturally I have to watch House of 1000 Corpses. 
     This Corpses flick is fuckin terrible.  Not in the "Wow, I kinda don't like this movie" kinda way. It's the "Wow, This movie sucks shit" kinda way.  This film is badly written and poorly acted.  It also has some incredibly bad camerawork.  Changing to weird colors, going static like for no apparent reason.  Now I know it was done by Rob Zombie and it is my belief he should stick to music.  I also know that Zombie was attempting to make the craziest film he could.  I love weird and crazy flicks but this movie tries way too hard and falls way short on all accounts.
     Just watching this one to get to the part 2 is very hard for me because I remembered not liking it the first time I ever watched it.  I had always remembered it having way too many ripoff moments from some of my favorite films.  This movie suck big massive balls and I hope I don't get the urge to watch part 2 ever again cuz then I will have to watch this shit again.

Foreign Films....Or Non-American

     Just a few things need to be said here.  First off, I am an American and have served my country in the Marine Corps a long time ago.  I love my country for the most part with a few exceptions but that conversation is not for this blog, just trying to lay some ground work here.  I love American movies too but they have always been held back by the MPAA.  I despise the MPAA for a few reasons but the biggest reason is they are just a form of censorship that needs to end.  It is my honest opinion that filmmakers should have complete autonomy when they are making a film.  The way my little brain sees things is "If you don't like it, Don't watch it".  There are plenty of movies out there that I personally do not like but I don't make it a point to complain about and try to stop others from watching it.  22 years ago Anthrax said it best..."Censorship's against everything America stands for".  I 100% agree.
     So that long shit being said...Brings me to my point.  About 12 years or so ago while I lived in southern California, just a short ways from Los Angeles I found a small store called The Anime Club.  I never went in it because the windows of the store were covered with posters of stuff like Pokemon, Dragon Ball Z and Naruto and other such things that I didn't and still don't like.  The reason I even started to go in there was they removed a poster and had a small table with Godzilla toys on it.  Inside I found it was mostly all non-American films like Japanese, French, Russian and a ton more.  I think I went through every single shelf and looked at every movie in the place, that says alot because the way they had it setup was you could only see the spine of all the films and all the writing was obviously foreign to me.  Every week I bought 1 or 2 films, ones that caught my eye by either the cover art or if it was a copy that had a small synopsis in English on the back.
     I found that America is the only country, for the most part, with a severe ratings board on films.  All the films I saw, from all different countries would have been torn apart by the MPAA.  I really learned to love these flicks.  I had to watch them all in there real language with subtitles, which before I never would have done because like so many Americans I hated to read while watching a movie.  But I realized dubbing sucks asshole.  How can people like to watch a film with English dubbed over the voices of the actors?  It turns every film, I mean every film, into a comedy.
     Fast forward to the present and I have seen so many foreign films that I think they have surpassed the American ones.  Well, maybe not but it has been alot.  I do hate it when American filmmakers decide to remake a foreign flick and absolutely destroy it.  Why can't we just release the movie that was already made in the theater over here?  A few examples of badly remade Japanese movies is Dark Water and The Ring.  The Ring was "okay" to me but the original is much scarier.  One that was badly remade and was also remade by the same director was The Grudge.  Originally titled Ju-on, this remake was an absolute piece of shit when compared to the Japanese version.  Ju-on remains one of the single creepiest flicks I have ever seen.  I have a good story about that but that will wait for another day.  I am very worried about the American remake of a Korean film called Oldboy for this reason.  I urge every person who reads this to watch the original first as it is a spectacular film.  I think it's even on Netflix now so no excuses.  Really not just that one though, watch all movies in their original forms before watching the remakes then make up your own mind which is better.  I so far prefer originals.

Just Because There's More Books...

     What to say about this movie?  I really do not know where to begin at all.  I guess the first place to begin is the thoughts that been swirling around my brain housing group since I watched this.  I loved the first movie, watched it a few times I have, I have been waiting for this sequel since I first saw the first one.  I was extremely disappointed.  I won't bother you with the particulars of this one, just know that the filmmakers should have stopped after the first one was done. The acting is sub par all around with the exception of Brandon T. Jackson and Alexandra Daddario, both of which are not used enough in this.  Script is...Meh! Story is...Meh! Occasionally a special effect happens that I think to myself may be okay but for the most part...Meh!  The only bright shining light around this project is Alexandra Daddario because she is a 27 year old hot Mamma Jamma, But as I said not used to her potential.  I am done with this one...for now anyway...til I think of something else.

There Is No Fate...

     Okay now since I have been watching Terminator flicks all week might as well move on to the newest one.  Terminator Salvation is really alot better then people give it credit for.  I have heard too many people say this movie sucks and it is a disgrace to the Terminator franchise but I beg to differ.  It is my honest opinion that part 3 is the film everyone should be smashing, mainly because they waited too long to make it. Arnold was too old and they didn't even try to get Edward Furlong to play Jon Connor.  To me that makes a huge fail. Anyway, I digress again as usual.
     This particular film is part 4 in the series and the only one that takes place primarily in the future setting.  I always wanted to see more of the future setting ever since I watched the first one back when I was about 8 years old.  With this one being newer then the other ones I gotta say the special effects are probably the best they have ever been for the series.  Many people that I know that have  seen it always say that, [SPOILER ALERT], When Arnold makes his appearance near the end of the film that it looks fake.  I beg to differ again, back in 1984 when the first T film came out Arnold was obviously younger then he was when he filmed the 3rd one.  The filmmakers, I believe, did the best they could possibly do with making Arnold young again and in as good a shape as when he was still bodybuilding.  I think it looks great honestly.  All-in-all I think the effects are spectacular.
     The acting is pretty good, considering the previous films never went up for any best actors or supporting actors either.  But I think everyone involed does a good job.  Christian Bale does a way better job as John Connor than he did as Batman in the Dark Knight Trilogy.  I may have just struck a nerve with all fanboys out there but before anyone says anything I want to point out that I am just like you.  But what I do not like is Bale's God-aweful Batman voice!  I know the filmmakers probably told him to do it but it always boils down to his acting whether it is his fault or not.  The guy that plays Kyle Reese, Anton Yelchin I think is gonna have a really long career because so far everything I've seen him in he does an awesome job.
    The story now........well it's a story.  If you know the series and what takes place in the "Future/Past" then it is pretty predictable.  Predictable? Yes! But that didn't stop me from loving the hell outta this movie.  So basic T story is what your gonna get here folks.
     I recommend this for any Action junkie out there or someone that just wants to see a bunch of cyborgs get jacked up.  I really do like this film it was a fun watch at the very least.

Not Only.....

     I just want to do a little Blog update that simply states this isn't gonna be "only" about movies.  I may throw some TV series in here as well because there is a huge landmark coming up this month and I intend on writing about it when the time comes.  That landmark is the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who, called The Day of The Doctor, which will be in alot of theaters across the nation on the 25th of November.

The Future Is Not Set......

     I am gonna come right out and say that Terminator 2 is in my top 5 favorite films of all time, and that's saying something because I actually like an absolute ton of movies.  I am a bit bias as well because of this fact.  In my most honest opinion I have to say this is the greatest sci-fi, action film ever produced.  This is the film that all other movies(action, sci-fi) pre and post will be compared to.
     So maybe I 'm not the person to review this film but I did just watch the Blu-ray edition that is pictured above.  I remember being a 14 year old boy and getting ready for school when my father came to me and said "you ain't going to school today boy!".  I didn't understand why until he told me he was bringing me to see Terminator 2:Judgment Day....on opening day.  After watching it I felt like I had just seen the greatest cinematic masterpiece of all time.  This was one of the very few times in my life that the hype of the movie was spot on, the 7 year wait for it was worth it and I was genuinely satisfied from watching it.  Now that I think back this was the only film I ever saw that I had no criticism for at first, just plain happiness.
     So what has changed in 22 years since it's release and my first viewing?  Not a whole lot really.  Well first I have to mention that there is 2 different versions of the movie, one is the theatrical cut and the other is the special edition.  Which is better?  The theatrical cut is what I originally fell in love with. But when the double disc DVD version came out when I was in the military had an extended version with loads of extra shit in it, I have not watched the theatrical version since.  It is in my honest opinion that the Blu-ray format was created specifically for this film.  Why?  Because this is the beginning of great CGI that still looks good today and with Blu-ray it is clearer and brighter than ever. Special effects are brilliant but there is still a couple of spots in it now, being 22 years old, that are looking a little worse for wear but for the most part....spectacular!
     With the onset of Blu-ray, which only covers the picture and sound really, doesn't do anything for the acting though so actors performance is exactly the way it was.  And you know what?  For an Arny vehicle it is pretty good, few spots stick out but I think those spots are mainly the only newcomer in the cast in Edward Furlong.  I do believe if I am not mistaken this was his first role ever and he plays it well considering that and a few times he just doesn't seem believable to me.  Kinda like he's reading from a card.  Arny is best when he plays a robot anyway so there's a win.  I have a criticism of Linda Hamilton but it isn't her acting and I don't think it's her fault either.  In the first Terminator film she plays a waitress with very soft facial features and a girl-next-door kinda look, all-in-all a beautiful woman.  And not to say she isn't beautiful at the time of part 2 but her character was written to be "hard" if you know what I mean.  Her face is now chiseled tight, she has veins sticking out of her biseps and she is just a badass bitch.  It fits the story but I wish she was the baddass in part 2 with the looks of part 1.  Now Robert Patrick plays the bad mother of all other bad mothers as the T-1000 liquid Terminator. That just sounds badass!  Anyway, he is an even more unstoppable killing machine then Arny's unstoppable killing machine model 101, which is saying something right there.  Patrick plays this character absolutely perfect, very polite and smiling at the beginning then turns to pissed off the more Arny and his pals gets in the way.  But he is one of my all-time favorite villains in all of film.
     The story is a time travel story, as is the first film so you shouldn't think on it too long.  Like how did Skynet come to be?  Well, the scientist based all of Skynet on the chip and arm of Arny's first terminator.  So what they are saying is none of this would have happened if the future never sent anyone back through time to 1984?  In which case the future would never have ever had a terminator to send back because it never existed to begin with.  Okay so say the first movie takes place and Skynet is built off the chip and arm, why didn't the future send a terminator into the past even farther and try to kill Sarah Connor when she was a kid?  Why would they wait till she was a badass and had a little bit of time to train her son, the young John Connor.  They could keep this up for decades in sequels and keep changing the era it is in, it would be like Assassins Creed only with killing machines instead of assassins.  They just need to continue following John Connor's Family tree all the way back. 
     Anyway, enough of me rambling on.  I love this movie even with it's small downfalls.  I recommend this to anyone that just wants to watch "awesome" in it's purest form.

New Take on Vampires!

     I had never heard of this film before seeing it.  I read a mention of it on a movie sight that was about one of the movies stars, Saoirse Ronan.  I looked into it for that reason alone because every flick I have seen her in is really good because she is an outstanding young actress.  She is only 19 now, which leads me to believe she will have a very long career as an actress and I will watch her films for a long time as well.  She does a spectacular job in Byzantium and it doesn't surprise me at all.  Gemma Arterton does really well also or maybe it was because I thought she was just gonna be the films eye candy.  I was wrong and right at the same time.  She was in fact eye candy because, well she is hot and she is a very good actress as well in it.  Caleb Landry Jones is in this and I only have ever seen him in X-Men First Class.  He does a great job in this playing a cancer survivor that falls for Ronan.  Overall I would say everyone else is pretty believable.
     The story is good, different but good.  This isn't the same vampire story just redone with new actors in it even though it is directed by the guy that also did Interview With The Vampire.  Byzantium couldn't be any more different than Interview even if it had Tom Cruise in it.  Anyway these vampires don't have enlarged canine teeth instead they stab people with an enlarged thumb nail then drink the blood from the wound.  It really is refreshing to see an age old "Movie Monster" get a new age makeover.  The filmmakers even changed how a vampire is born.  And also surprise.....there are no sparkling vampires either.
     As far as special effects go there isn't much of it with the exception of maybe blood and an occasional finger nail going into a neck or arm.  So with the little there is in that arena, well done.
     I do highly recommend this movie because of the great acting and the fresh new vampire tale.  If you like vampire flicks that aren't scary check it out.  I really enjoyed it.

How to remove a Splinter!

     I literally just finished watching this flick for the second time and I knew there was a reason I left this little known low budget film in my collection, it is pretty spectacular.
     There is essentially 3 main characters and one I know their name and the other 2 I have only seen them in other films in the past.  The one I do know should be obvious, it's Jill Wagner, most people would know her for be a host on the TV show Wipeout.  She does a decent job as an actress in this and she isn't too hard on the eyes at all.  The 2 male leads in this do a good job as well.
     The story for this little film is really one that has been done a hundred times before, well in horror anyway.  People driving, pop tire, get attacked and then find shelter get stuck there.  But this one is pretty interesting, for me anyway.
     Alot of movies use CGI as the tool to make their special effects and alot of filmmakers think that it makes it look more real.  For some things I may be on their side with, like inanimate objects I think look great with computer effects.  Characters, for the most part, and moving objects tend to look rather fake in my eyes.  The effects in this film are done primarily with practical effects and I believe it shines because of it. Some films that have a "thing" as its main character like to make sure the camera is completely unstable or when it is on screen it is at night and in the rain as to cover up the fact that the "thing" doesn't look remotely real to begin with.  In Splinter though for the most part when it is on screen it looks good with good lighting, with the exception of a few time when the "thing" has invaded a host and it is supposed to be a very tense moment so the filmmaker decided to use the shaky cam to film it.  This is a camera concept I cannot fathom because it makes some parts completely unwatchable.  Maybe the film can be tense if you just film it differently because the shaky shit does absolutely nothing for any film.  Luckily in this film it used very little.
     I do recommend Splinter to any one who likes horror movies and the use of practical effects.  Acted very well with a small cast.  Just check it out.

Liam Neeson Plus Comic Book Movie Equals........

     So I did just happen to see this again today and it has been friggin' ages since I last saw it.  I do remember when I was about 16 or 17 when the trailers for this were on TV, it looked awesome.  I also remember it being awesome when I watched it in the theater back then.  At this point there weren't very many comic book movies out that were not made for TV.  Unless you are one of the very lucky that got to see that spectacular version of the Fantastic Four that really was never released but you can see it on the internet now.  Anyway I digress, Darkman, Based on a comic book and directed by Sam Raimi.  Now this is the Sam Raimi that majority of people know for doing the 3 Spider-man films in the last decade, but to people like me he is the man that made The Evil Dead trilogy that started in the 80's.
     So this movie Darkman is starring Liam Neeson and he plays the title character, and normally I would say that that is a recipe for success considering his more recent films are pretty great.  But in this he is incredibly overacting to the point of almost making a person laugh.  Well most of the male starring cast over exaggerates every single little emotion so don't blame Neeson for the whole thing.   France McDormand plays the female lead, actually I think she may have been the only female in the entire film.  She does pretty good for the limited screen time she has.
     The story is, like I said before, from a comic book and since it is an origin story guess what that means.....Yep, something bad has to happen then the character is changed then he finds super powers of sorts.  Same as all the other ones just this one didn't get as much recognition because it wasn't released in the comic book boom that started in 2000.  But it would have been crushed today if it came out in the state it's in.
     On to the effects.  Now the practical effects are actually really good considering they were done about 20 years ago.  But in all honesty they are done well.  Okay now the CGI that is in this film sticks out like....well CGI in a movie released in 1994.  It is very ugly and this would have been so much better if it weren't for the god awful computer effects.  They should have stuck with all practical.
     All in all I would only recommend this movie if you have a profound love for comic book films or your a Liam Neeson completionist or some such thing.  I like it because of the comic connection and I do normally enjoy Neeson's films but he is kinda embarrassing in it.  So not alot to draw in people but at the very least Grab some popcorn and have a laugh with friends.

Photograph of the original ending to The Wolverine

     I really wish they had kept this in the movie.  For me it would have made the film considering I grew up with these comic book characters.  I did kinda like the movie to begin with but this would have been great.

McCarthy and Bullock Bring The F'n Heat!

    

     I watched The Heat last night and I have to say I was not disappointed.  I heard about it alot but had never seen a trailer for it before watching it.  I had it for quite some time but kept putting it off because other people told me just how great and funny it was.  The reason why I put it off is I have had too many instances in my life with comedic films that fall miles short of the hype surrounding them.  Granted this one had little hype behind it but I had just kept hearing how funny it is. 
     So I finally sit down to watch it and holy crap is Melissa McCarthy one funny woman.  She does a great job with the dialogue the writers gave her unless she improvised some of it, because her dialogue is nothing short of profanity after profanity after profanity.  What I am trying to say is her character swears a few times during the course of the film.  But it makes her wicked funny so I am happy with it.  Miss Bullock does a good job as well but she isn't really funny til......she starts swearing.  But in her defense she is supposed to be a stuck up FBI agent that's by the books.  Marlon Wayans is basically a filler character and could have really been played by just about anyone, and he is only in it for about 10 minutes.  All other males in this as well could have been someone else because they're just filler.
     The story itself is straight forward fare.  In actuality it's pretty predictable from beginning to end.  But I can say it is funny as hell with lots of laugh out loud moments, just if your getting a movie for family movie night you may want to look elsewhere unless your kids are all older because McCarthy would make Tony Montana say "Watch your mouth"!  This film does have a very large repertoire of profanity in it, but I enjoyed it immensely.

This is only the beginning!

     First off, I just want to say that I love the art of film.  All film!  Since I was a kid I been watching movies because my 2 best friends back then had families that owned video stores.  I can remember going to my buddy Jason's house after school one day and his entire house was filled with large boxes.  We, being kids, were curious(nosy) so we started digging through them.  Every box was filled with VHS tapes, this being many years before the creation of DVD.  We went through all of them and watched probably all of them, movies ranging from big named ones to really obscure, hard to find ones. For some odd reason I can really remember the horror movies, probably because for the time they were scary for a ten year old kid.  When I watch those same films now I wonder how I was ever even scared, movies like Slaughter High, Dolls, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street and other such names.  It wasn't all horror though, we watched alot of comedy as well like Major League, Spaceballs and Naked Gun.  80's action was in full effect at the time too, so we had our fill of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone and my favorite of the "can't act but my movies rock" actor, Jean Claude Van Damme.
     Anyway the point is really I like to watch alot of films. New films and old films, when I watch them I will write what I think of them.  No, I won't tell you the full synopsis of them because I don't like that in a review.  So hope you enjoy.